Starbucks? What Starbucks?

Well, that’s it. The death of branding as we know it. We had a good run. Starbucks, perhaps the company most synonymous with brand image, is loosing its brand. As an experiment, the dudes in Seattle are setting up a few “unbranded” Starbucks locations, going undercover as the mom and pop establishments that already despise them.

No Starbucks here.

It almost seems unfair for Starbucks to pose as an independent coffee shop, only to drive the true independently-owned establishments further into collapse. This business decision is ruthless. And brilliant. Did I mention they’ll include a new food menu, and also sell beer / wine? If this experiment succeeds and Starbucks is able to set up nationwide “indie” spots, rich with colloquial character and personality, what will be left for the neighborhood locations to offer? Of course, customers will eventually realize that their favorite new coffee joint is actually part of the Starbucks franchise, but if it’s done right it won’t matter. The Converse brand has been able to retain its alternative image despite public knowledge that they’re owned by Nike. Sorry mom and pop, but this is business.

Still, nobody likes to be lied to. And while business’s have the right to position themselves however they’d like, what if other establishments began falsely positioning themselves in order to lure customers?

What if you are your bros thought you were going to watch The Hangover but it turned out you were stuck watching vampire suckfest Twighlight?

I’d be pissed. But since we snuck so much beer into the theater we might as well stay. Although that 13 year old kid sitting next to me keeps giving us dirty looks…

What if you stumbled into church the next morning only to realize the service included strippers?

Forgive me God for what I’m about to do…

Or what if you and your girls went to Chipotle for lunch but it turned out you were actually supporting McDonald’s?

Oh wait…

Business is business, but there is a line where clever positioning becomes outright lying. I’m not suggesting Starbucks has crossed this line, but they are flirting with it. I want to support brands with the willingness to take a bold stand for what they believe in, and proudly broadcast who they are to the public, without the need to pose as something else.

Never hide. Lose the bullshit. Brand lyfe, suckaaaas!