We’re All Dudes
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I assume we are all chill, open-minded, and intellectually/emotionally advanced. I am often proved wrong. Yet I remain optimistic. You are my dudes, I think, and I value the underlining vulnerability we all share. We are disparate brands with contrasting values, and we often hold ideas and opinions that are in direct opposition of each other. But despite all our differences we are always connected by our deep humanity.
Today I was g-chatting with Laura. We were having a good conversation and I was about to ask her to go to The Walker Art Center this weekend, but she sent me a link that totally distracted me. The link led to a blog post written by some douchebag who has lost touch with what it means to be human. His blog post is angry. He may be a sad person. I think he is very upset because he finds it difficult to establish meaningful connections with those around him. He is insulted when people call him “dude” because he is “emotionally detached from life” and thinks the abstract concept of “professionalism” elevates him beyond his instinctual need to connect with others on a human level. When the conversation becomes “too chill” he gets scared because he is no longer provided with a false sense of pretense to hide behind. He is unable to be cool with others because he is unable to be cool with himself. What a dork. Laura and I laughed and laughed.
SELF-HATING DUDE
I think we as a species could benefit by putting down our guard. The concept of “dude” is unifying. It allows us to see each other for what we really are -bros and hos who just want to eat pizza and procreate, trying to entertain ourselves in the meantime with good memories and meaningful relationships. I think if everyone thought of each other as “dudes” the world would be a better place.
WHAT IF THE TERRORISTS WERE JUST DUDES?
They would say “Sorry for being so uncool all these years. You can have some oil if you want. As long as you pass the Doritos!”
WHAT IF THE POPE WAS A CHILL DUDE?
He would probably hang out with a homosexual couple and say “Sup dudes? Sorry for being so lame. You two actually look really cute together. You should totally get gay-married!”
WHAT IF RICH PEOPLE WERE BETTER DUDES?
They would say “Damn bro. Our bad for hoarding the wealth! You want one of my private jets? How about some health insurance?”
“Dude” is a revolutionary concept because it puts us all on the same level. It strips away artificial hierarchies and provides us with a deeper human connection. It is possibly the most democratic word in the English language. A dude is honest. A dude understands you. A dude likes pizza. A dude likes to get laid. A dude understands that we have a responsibility to ourselves, our dreams, and other dudes. A dude doesn’t have all the answers and doesn’t pretend to.
I think we need to help this guy find his inner dude. Please go onto Twitter and write @KeithTrivitt “Sup dude?” or something to that effect. Offer to be his dude. If you don’t have Twitter please email him at ktrivitt@gmail.com (It might help to include a short URL to this blog post [provided here: http://tinyurl.com/yztzfqd] so he can put your message into context.) We need to reach out to this lost dude and show him that life can be chill if you let it be.
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In the eternal words of Less Than Jake: “I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. We’re all dudes.”
That’s all I’ve got.
Reading that dude’s post reminds me of what I don’t like about business.
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Wow. You call him a douchebag but then say that we need to reach out to him. Pretty douchey. Maybe I should spread the word to leave a comment on your blog/email/twitter. I’m guessing they would be much less kind than what people have written on Keith’s blog, because believe it or not (and I know that you won’t), it’s you that is the douchebag and not Keith.
Good thing you have your friend, Liz, to fight so many battles for you, DUDE.
By the way, how many people have bought your merch? Just Liz? Ouch.